On Friday 06.20.2008 I went to a physic/numeroligist/ massage/ healer named Suzanne..... she was wonderful and knew many things about my family... things she had no way of knowing but was spot on! This always makes me feel a bit weird when others know things going on inside my family that I don't openly share and when she hits on feelings that I am feeling with no more that a few minutes together... makes me wonder..... she taped our session and I am listening to it now.... hearing things again makes it more real.... Do I believe? Of course anyone can change their course by making different decisions that they would normally make and not all is clear in the universe because we can not control what others do but can only control how we react to them... where am I going with this?
As many know, my issues with Jason have been immense and very trying... to say the least. She told me flat out that in 4-6 months there will be a HUGE event happening... repeating herself many times, she said she was telling me this because I need to be prepared... she believes Jason will be gone from this world in that time frame... and she wants me to know it will be OK... I will be OK... and there will be "butterflies" when it happens.... relief, pain, but butterflies... a feeling of freedom... a feeling of peace.... knowing he is finally at peace... How does one feel about this? How should I feel about this? How do I feel about this? Do I believe?
I have always maintained that I do not see Jason later in life... I can not even conjure up a vision of him older than now or at 30... and the way things are going at home now makes me wonder if letting him out last Thursaday was the right thing to do... of course I have no say when the hospital says to go and he is "making progress" and will need out patient therapy (which they set up) and that this was all they can do for him at this time.... (I believe it is all about the fact he has no insurance) I was hoping for more.
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